I am discouraged this weekend. I feel like I am not making great strides. Just little bitty ones.
Today is my moms b'day. She turned 58. I saw a glimpse into what my future would be if I continued on my overweight path. She is over 300 lbs, she has worn out her knee because of the 4 decades of carrying extra weight. She has breathing problems, sleep apnea and gets sick almost weekly because she has a weak immune system.
It breaks my heart but to be completely honest I despise her. Not because of her but because I can see myself in her and all that I don't like about myself I see it in her. We struggle with the same weight issues. So although I'm heartbroken because she is my mom and I love her dearly, I am frustrated with her because I wish she could get control of her weight and her life.
Oh yesterday when we went out to lunch instead of waiting on everyone to order my brother ordered the big meal for the whole table to share. So instead of my well thought out meal, I had to sit infront of ribs, potato salad, fried onion rings and okra and tons of cobbler. I did my I ate half a piece of smoked turkey a little cold slaw and I gave into some peach cobbler at the end.
I was so discouraged by the end of the night I ate no dinner although I killed myself in the gym yesterday and I took it out on my poor sweet husband.
Poor Riley I think I have taken out all my frustration with the lifestyle change on him.